Like family, we don’t get to choose our stepfamily – our parents do that for us. It’s selfish for anyone to expect a man or woman to live alone forever in the fear of choosing a partner that his or her children may not like. However, I think that far too many parents disregard the feelings of their kids all together.
If you remember Cinderella then you remember her evil stepmother and stepsisters. Poor Cinderella had to endure years and years of torture at the hand of her steps. Luckily for Cinderella, she had a fairy godmother who pimped her out and let her get loose at a ball the royals were hosting (my memory fails me, I don’t really remember the occasion). Cinderella had to leave before 12 but ironically that was enough time for her to find a decent (and rich) man and make him fall head-over-heels in love with her, ha!
Cinderella wasn’t the only one who had to endure the wrath of ‘stepfamily’. Snow White’s stepmother poisoned her – now that’s rough! Again, luckily for Snow White a handsome young prince stumbled across her lifeless body, brought her back to life and they road off into the horizon, living happily-ever-after. Yawn.
Children don’t ask to be brought into this world, it’s a decision their parents make. Too often parents don’t realise how THEIR decisions have a lasting effect on their children’s lives. I don’t’ believe couples should “stay together for the sake of the kids” and I don’t believe parents should choose new life partners that can’t respect their kids either.
Your child is part of you. If a man or woman can’t respect your child, they can’t respect you. The time-old cliché of stepmother/father versus children needs to stop. Every last single parent needs to consider their children and the consequences that abuse (in any form) from a stepparent may have on them for the rest of their lives – BEFORE getting married.
I’m not saying stay single for life, I’m just saying that like marriage is supposed to be forever – so is being a parent, and that should come first.