I am…?

I am… Whitney.

A good friend of mine, Kouthar, had been speaking about how much I remind her of the main character in the TV series “Whitney” for a while. I didn’t think much of it (because I had never watched the show) until I watched an episode…

There I was. “Whitney” is exactly like me, down to the last detail. I guess after five years of friendship, you know your friend – REALLY well. Kouthar was spot on.

For those of you who haven’t watched the show here’s a sneak peak:

Get serious, not serial.

 

Beware the lure of serial dating – you might lose your whole self in your quest always to be someone else’s other half…

There’s nothing like the feeling you get when you’re in love. Your steps seem lighter, the sun shines brighter and everything is just rainbows and butterflies.

It’s so reassuring to have someone to talk to, someone to lean on – you know there’s always somebody who’ll be there for you, whenever you need them.

As women, we have a lot of love within us and it brings us a sense of stability and fulfilment when we have someone with whom to share this love. It becomes a habit – we grow accustomed to our ‘other half’ – and instead of remaining a whole, we become just that, one half of a partnership.

While this may not be a completely bad thing, the problem comes in when the relationship doesn’t last. You are no longer a whole. You miss your other half. So what do you do? You find another half and … BOOM! You’re a whole person again, right – or not?! You’re a serial dater.

Can’t remember the last time you were single?

It’s easier to go from one relationship straight into another in order to avoid all the pain that comes with losing a partner.

Getting into another relationship distracts you. “John who?!” You quickly forget about your ex-boyfriend (the good and the bad parts) and you don’t have to deal with any pain.

Can’t imagine why anyone would want to be single?

Being single can be a scary thought straight after a break-up. You have to pick up the pieces and begin again. What many women don’t realise is that being single is a part of healing.

You need to heal in order to work through all the baggage of the relationship you just came out of because baggage doesn’t disappear – it follows you and one day it will catch up.

 “I can do everything I did when I was single while being in a relationship”

Another common symptom of a serial dater is to put emphasis on the fact that they can do anything (with the exception of playing the field of course) that a single woman can do.

No, you can’t. Being in a relationship requires time, effort, understanding and compromise. You have to think about yourself as well as your partner.

Single women have time to focus on themselves and truly being all they can be – alone. This works because when Mr Right comes along, they won’t be left with the feeling that they missed out or thinking “what if” and if by some chance things with ‘Mr Right’ don’t work out, they have the strength to wait for what they deserve.

There’s a difference between being in love and being comfortable

Yes, there is a very big difference. Being ‘in love’ with someone is not the same as ‘loving’ someone. You love your friends, your mother, and your brother, or your dog. It’s natural to be comfortable with someone you love and not want to hurt them. There is safety in the familiar.

Don’t settle for comfort because you’re scared. Being ‘in love’ is worth the struggle and the search.

Serial killers choose their victims. They go through dozens of people who all have something in common. Serial daters go from relationship to relationship – dating ‘the same’ guy, and going through the same problems.

“A woman becomes a woman when she realises she doesn’t need a man to comfort her.” Take the time to find yourself, what you love, who you are and where you want to be. Learn to love yourself and live your life to the fullest alone and Mr Right will find you. Remember you need a man only to COMPLEMENT you, not COMPLETE you.

 
(This was one of my first “published” articles)
Article originally posted on All4Women.co.za.

Andy Warhol said, “In the future everybody will be world famous for fifteen minutes.” You can’t choose the 15 minutes but why would you be world famous?

I don’t think Andy meant what he said literally, although in today’s day and age it’s probably possible for everyone to have their 15mins of world fame.

Between Youtube, reality TV and society’s hunger for “the next big thing”, becoming famous is totally doable. I mean you don’t even have to have a real talent, ask Kim Kardashian.

Personally, it’s not a life I’d like to lead. I like my privacy.

There are quite a few famous people I’d like to marry, I mean meet, though.

 

[Rosie and Sophia were discovered on Youtube…]

Macaroons

I’m obsessed with macaroons. I could eat them all day, everyday.

And the best thing about them is that they come in all colours. I love colours.

I am holding back the drool just thinking about them.

Anyways…

I came across a recipe they other day. Seems legit.

I am a disaster in the kitchen but perhaps one day I may decide to attempt it.

If you love macaroons as much as I do, here’s how to make them…

RECIPE:

*Makes 24 double macaroons.

Ingredients for Macaroons

2 cups (500 ml) ground almonds
1 ¼ cups (300ml) castor sugar
4 egg whites
Pinch of salt
1 tsp (5 ml) rose-water

Method for Macaroons:

Dry the almonds overnight in a 70 °C (160 °F) oven.
The following day, increase the oven temperature to 150 °C (300 °F).
Put the almonds and sugar in a saucepan over medium heat until the sugar has melted. Do not stir, as the sugar will crystallise.
Take the almond-sugar mixture off the stove and let it cool slightly.
Whisk the egg whites with the salt until soft peaks form. Fold this into the almond and sugar mixture, and then fold in the rose-water.
Layer a baking tray with greaseproof paper and butter the paper.
Spoon the biscuit mixture into a piping bag and pipe small rounds (about the size of a teaspoon) onto the buttered paper, about 3cm apart.
Bake for 20-30 minutes. Remove from the oven and lift from the baking tray while still hot. Place on a wire rack to cool.

 

Ingredients for Ganache:

7 Tbsp (105ml) fresh cream
¼ cup (60 ml) white chocolate

Method for Ganache:

Bring the cream just to boiling point. Chop the chocolate finely and place in a heatproof bowl.
Pour the boiling cream over and stir until the chocolate has melted. Leave to cool slightly.
Sandwich the macaroons together with 1 tsp (5 ml) ganache.

Recipe compliments of Chef Chris Eramus from Pierneef at La Motte

 

A skill set called leadership

A good leader is honest. He or she is passionate about equality for all; a good leader has his or her people’s best interests at heart at all times because he/she is selfless and fair.

Knowledge is power and therefore a good leader is educated and has the hunger to learn in order to keep growing.

A good leader is dynamic and can adapt to change effectively and efficiently. A good leader is strong-willed, ethical and determined.

A good leader is a people’s person, they have the people skills to connect with and understand people from all walks of life. He or she is approachable. A good leader listens and listens well. When the masses lose faith, he or she needs to have the strength to motivate, mobilize and encourage them to believe. He or she keeps his or her followers focused because a good leader is always focused.

With power comes responsibility, a good leader does not abuse his or her position but instead handles it with grace and remains humble.

A good leader leads the way innovatively and with confidence. He or she inspires people and effortlessly sets trends because his or her influence.

A good leader captures all those he or she meets with their personality and opinions. A good leader is fearless but empathetic, they lead firmly but not with an iron fist. People follow a good leader because they want to, not because they have to.

A good leader is proactive; he or she talks the talk and walks the walk. A good leader walks with their followers and leads by example.

A good leader acts strategically; they create a vision and work towards it. They stay true to their vision and constantly refer back to it in their communication and in the feedback they give. Good leaders are good managers who surround themselves with good people.

Good leaders never forget their people.

Live your own fairytale.

I blame Disney movies for women’s high expectations in love and for men’s inability to measure up to those expectations.

We grow up watching these “too good to be true” motion pictures where good ALWAYS triumphs over bad, the damsel is ALWAYS in distress and Prince Charming ALWAYS finds a way to rescue her ( while his hair and perfect face remain in place). Love conquers all and they all live happily ever after.

I think it creates a false perception in little children. We grow up waiting for the perfect love and believe that without it we’re not good enough – life’s not good enough. So much valuable time passing as we continuously wait for our “Prince Charming” or “Damsel in distress” to arrive along with our “happily ever after”.

The problem with Prince Charming is he doesn’t exist. You see, nobody’s perfect. And the problem with the “Damsel in distress” is that women can actually help themselves. They’re allowed to be independent and happy BEFORE they meet a man.

Often people miss out on great opportunities because they weren’t presented in ‘the form’ they were expecting to find it.

If you go through life setting specifications for the guy or girl you are hoping to find, you’re limiting yourself. Allow yourself to get to know people and THEN decide. You never know who you might fall for. You might just surprise yourself.

Some of the most romantic stories involve an unlikely couple getting together.

Forget Disney, live your own fairytale.

Image by: Emlyn Emelen – “Emelen Photography”

Image by: Nik Basting – “Nik Basting Photography”

Image by: Gaynor Yorath

Image by: Jessica Shimmin – “Media Monster”

Image by: Logan Lopata

Image by: Sonya Solanki

“Rock journalism is people who can’t write interviewing people who can’t talk for people who can’t read” (Frank Zappa)

In 1977, singer/songwriter Frank Zappa was quoted saying: “Rock journalism is people who can’t write interviewing people who can’t talk for people who can’t read”. 

I think that statement is very stereotypical (and ironic).

Besides, how exciting can a writer make an interview?

Musicians express themselves through their music – not their interviews.

And people don’t read magazines for their intellectual content.

Appreciate Imperfection.

We live in a world where there is quite a narrow definition of beauty. It’s usually tall, thin with long straight hair and fairish skin – green or blue eyes are an added bonus.

Don’t let society dictate what you can appreciate.

We are all beautiful in our own special way. Choose to see the splendor in the imperfections of life, that’s what makes it beautiful.

After all, what’s a beautiful face without a beautiful heart?

Embrace all kinds of beauty.

List your top 200 achievements:

I don’t think it’s possible to list my top 200 achievements. I think each person has their own definition of what an achievement is, how great the achievement is and where it ranks in comparison to what else they have achieved in life – and that’s personal.

In my opinion, an achievement is something you accomplished that impacts your life positively – no matter how big or small.

Life’s about the little things so appreciate all your achievements, not just the big ones.

My Mamma Bear & I at my (first) Graduation